Today, I am meeting At The Well…and the discussion centers around sharing a story about how you have found complete fulfillment in your biblical purpose? For the last three years – since I became a grieving mom – I have thought much (MUCH) about “my purpose”. What could God possibly want to do with me and through me and the death of my son?
Certainly I have not found complete fulfillment but I am reminded over and over again of His faithfulness. He has not abandoned me nor was my son’s death random or outside of His plan. God has been very close to me these last three years and although there is much I still do not understand, I know He is refining me for His glory.
I am reminded of a story that was told to me by a friend as a true story. I cannot say for sure it is true but I heard it that way. A man was traveling and while exploring the native area, he came across an old gentlemen sitting beside a stone oven, tending a large chunk of metal that he was holding over the fire…..a refiner, if you will. The man was very intrigued and began to question the gentlemen. He learned that the refiner had to maintain the fire at just the right temperature….too hot and the metal would scorch and be ruined – not hot enough and all the impurities would not melt off. However, he was amazed when he asked the man, “Well, how do you know when the job is done?” and the old man said, “Oh, that’s easy. I know the metal is perfect when I can see my reflection -an image of myself- in it.”
I love that image. For, in Malachi 3:3 it tells us “and He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” Christ is our refiner, we are the metal and the trails, heartaches and challenges we face each day are those things which the Lord can use to mold us into His own image.
These past three years have been a refiner’s fire. Do I completely understand God’s plan or do I clearly see all He is trying to teach me? No. But God has been the faithful refiner who has never walked away from the fire – never even turned his head – and He is in complete control. And, as far as my purpose, I truly believe if I will be but patient, I can one day claim I Peter 1:7 as my own. It says “that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.”
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I cannot imagine a hotter, harder fire to be in that the one you've endured over these past FOUR years.. (the time spent dealing with the cancer itself was a trial all of it's own). Your feet have walked hallways that were filled with pain. Your hands have had to do things to your child that you would have never imagined. Your heart has had to break, over and over, with each successive round of bad news, and finally with the ultimate agony of letting go. The things you've seen and heard are, to most of us, unimaginable. And yet here you are… truly a reflection of the One who held you in that fire. And even while you were there, He provided the shelter of His wings, and you found it. I've been praying you through this always tough time…
This was a beautiful post. I prayed for you this weekend. You were on my mind and I prayed for your whole family to have strength to get through the day.
You have been on my mind also all through this difficult weekend. What a beautiful post, from a heart going through the fire, but truly found to praise, honor and glorify the Lord. (I Peter 1:7) I'm so thankful with you that we serve a God who brings peace, comfort and strength that limitless. May His presence continue to shadow you as your heart is a reflection of Him. Love and prayers.
The pain of losing your child is one that is not matched or understood by others. The way that you feel that all is GOds plan is awesome and powerful thanks for creating such a great post
What a beautiful post!! I have had you in my thoughts and prayers this weekend. I had heard that story before, but it is a wonderful story, isn't it? God's master plan is far greater than anything we could ever imagine, and although we don't know why things happen, God is in control and He is ALWAYS there for us. I know your heart is still broken, but rejoice in the fact that we will all be reunited with our loved ones in heaven one day and you will see your precious son, Tyler, at the feet of Jesus. He will be waiting there to welcome you! What joy I hope that brings to your broken heart. May Jesus continue to wrap you in His love and walk you through this journey. I am always reminded that no matter what happens in my life; God is never going to give me more than I can possibly handle and He will always be there for me to help me through it!!!
Know that your blogger friends are here for you and are lifting you up in prayer, although we have never met. We are all children of God and we care for each other. Love & blessings from NC!
Thank you so much for sharing! Your story touched my heart!
-Ashley