A Heavy Heart This Week

Well, hello Wednesday!  I always hesitate to say something similar to “the week is just flying by” because isn’t that what old people always say?  But, if I’m honest I am surprised that it is Wednesday already!  Not exactly sure what I have done this week but I zoomed right through.  Zoomed – as in “went quickly” not that I “face timed, video chatted or (in any way) communicated through my computer” with anyone!!:)  Truthfully, I am just soaking in all the beauty of late fall.  Trying to fill my soul with sunshine and warm weather – before I go into hibernation.  Sigh.  Today’s post is a bit different from most of my posts.  I started with a glimpse into my week but my heart is heavy today – and, no doubt, that will show here as well.  Bear with me.
Outside my window.  The leaves are a-fallin.  And accumulating.  Faster than we can rake and bag them.  So many leaves!!  And we don’t even have that many trees.  I’m not sure how some folks manage it.  We have to bag our own leaves in this neighborhood.  We have friends (just up the road) and their city provides leaf pickup.  They simply have to rake their leaves to the curb and a city truck vacuums them up.  Brilliant!!  Why do not all localities do that?  I will admit, as I look out the window, most of the trees are bare so we might be getting to the end of the leaves.  I know my husband’s back will appreciate that.  Because let’s be honest:  he is the real raker and bagger around here!
Around the house.  The pilgrims are out of storage and are making the house look cozy – and Thanksgiving-y:)  I really do enjoy my fall – and Thanksgiving – decor the most.  More than Christmas – but I don’t dare say that out loud.  I might lose every friend (blog friend and more) that I have.  Once everything is displayed and/or arranged, I must admit, I am unmotivated to move things and/or to dust.  This creates a trickle-down effect of apathetic housekeeping.  Why scrub the floors when I know a thin layer of dust is covering just about everything!?!  Oh my.  But, the pilgrims do look nice!
On the to-do list.  Other than dusting, I suppose.  Most of my extra plans this week revolve around Thanksgiving.  I am making plans to have some Thanksgiving fun with the Junior Church kiddos and, as well, would like to make some gifts to share with some friends and church family members.  I am planning to have the older girls, from class, help me in the kitchen.  We haven’t done that before but I know we are going to have a fun time!  That group of Junior Church kids is definitely at the top of my “Thanksgiving Blessings” list!
On the menu this week.  I have used the crockpot every night this week so far.  And I see a lot more crockpot nights in our future.  It is perfect for the fall and winter…..and makes the best comfort food dishes.  What is your favorite meal in the crock pot?
On my mind in the middle of the week.  Truth be told, my heart is quite heavy this week.  Our church supports a large number of missionaries – some church planters here in the states but most are on foreign fields.  Our pastor does a great job at keeping the church up to date with the missionaries and we are in regular contact with them.  Many become “like family.”  On Monday, one of our missionaries (serving/working in a very anti-Christian area) was shot and killed on the field.  His car was ambushed and he was shot in front of his wife and baby (who were unharmed).  The news has just been devastating.  He and my pastor were best friends.  If you think of his wife and children (he has four), please say a prayer for them.  Their needs are more than I can fathom.  Maybe say a prayer for my pastor as well.
I know that is a super heavy note to end on – but that is my heart lately.  Closer to home, I know several who are struggling with some serious health needs and one of my senior friends is, no doubt, in her last weeks here on earth.  Every day, there seems to be something else.  Not the most encouraging stuff for blog posts.  However, this blog is for the good as well as the hard and about real life.  Yes, it has been a beautiful week….but life is feeling burdened just now.  I’m so glad that God is faithful.  He is good and an ever-present help and comforter.   Please come back on Friday.  I plan to share some Thanksgiving memories! Until then, have a peaceful rest of your week!!

12 thoughts on “A Heavy Heart This Week

  1. Like you said, even though life is beautiful sometimes, it’s also full of burdens. I love that sentence and I even love how life just ebbs and flows continually. That’s kind of what I think of when I read about joy among sorrow…like being at a funeral and laughing really hard over something someone says, then crying again a few minutes later. Life really is beautiful and a privilege to live with the Lord at our side and within us. I stopped and prayed for the family and your pastor as soon as I read the words about the missionary you mentioned. I cannot fathom such grief! I know it’s always a risk they’re willing to take, but that doesn’t make it any easier, does it? I will continue to pray for them both and for strength for you as you walk through love of hard times with friends. Thanks for always sharing from your heart, friend.

    1. Thank you for your prayers, friend. What a gift and a privilege to share prayers (and prayer requests) with others. Even those I know just through this blog. It is very humbling! Thank you.

  2. Jennifer, contrary to what others might want to read, I enjoy reading the real feelings of others, because then I know I’m not the only one having real feelings 🙂

    I’m so sorry to hear about your pastor’s friend. What a tragedy. I pray that his family and friends will feel God’s peace and presence now and in the future.

    On a lighter note, I had to chuckle at you not dusting. Is it just me or does everyone have a dusty house? With having a dirt driveway and constant construction going on in a new sub division they are building nearby, my house always seems dusty. I don’t have a specific cleaning routine, so I will dust when I walk by something and see a layer of dust across the top. Is this bad? 🙂 You won’t find clutter when you visit, but just don’t run your finger across my furniture 🙂

    Well, I hope you have a good rest of the week. I’ll be waiting to hear about your Thanksgiving plans. I need some motivation!

    Take care 🙂

    1. Dust – it’s very much like unattended laundry and those crazy leaves outside. It will simply multiply. And truly never really goes away!:) I’m with you…just don’t run your finger over the furniture!!

  3. On a light note, how interesting that you prefer Thanksgiving decor to Christmas. And, how odd that different places have different leaf policies. We are fortunate the city picks our raked leaves up. But, they didn’t take ours on Monday. One of our neighbor’s cars must have been in front of the pile (we had to place the leaves in a pile near the street but not on it). I hope your husband’s back holds up ok… On to your heavy heart. Oh my word- I saw a headline about this exact horrible incident. I didn’t read the article but the headline described exactly what you said. I didn’t know the man was a missionary and that you knew him. I am so sorry for his family and your church family to have to walk through the devastation of grief and knowledge that it was a senseless crime made all the more horrific by his family seeing it. Thank you for sharing this. I will keep his family and your church family in my prayers. I know what you mean about not wanting necessarily to post negative things- to try to keep things light and joyful. But then you are not sharing your heart. In addition, when all people read about are the good and positive things, I think readers can think to themselves, “Why is her life so good when mine is hard so much?” even if intellectually, they understand that everyone goes through hard times. Writing about the beauty and pain of life is what makes blogs relatable. When my brother died, I wasn’t sure if I should post anything about it, because how depressing is to to talk about a sudden death of a loved one? And my previous post had likely been a recap of a soccer tournament. It’s odd to reconcile the two. But that was/is my life and that’s what I write about. I appreciate your honesty and sharing of your heart.

    1. Thank you, friend. And I appreciate your friendship through this blog. Thank you for faithfully stopping by – and for being an encouragement!!

  4. Oh I am so sorry to hear about that missionary; my heart just breaks for his wife and children. I think it is more than understandable that you have such a heavy heart this week.

  5. Hi Jennifer~ Winter is in full force here in Idaho, in fact, today it has been snowing and blowing all morning! To answer your questions about horses . . .yes, I do/did ride. We always had horses because my husband rode and broke horses most of his life and most of our married life. About ten years ago we sold all of our horses because they were old and so were we! We now keep a friends horses in our pasture all summer and send them home in the winter…that’s how we get our horse fix. I haven’t used my crockpot at all this year, I need to get it out and start using it. I struggle with getting everything done lately, dusting, vacuuming, mopping floors, all elude me most of the time! I love to have a clean house but sometimes I’m just lazy ;/
    I am so sorry for your loss, Jennifer. What a horrible tragedy for their family and for those who love them and will miss them so desperately. I pray that Heavenly Father will continue to be a constant source of strength and love in their time of deep sorrow and sadness. I also pray that they will feel the power of prayer as they are kept in the prayers of those who know them and those who don’t, knowing that we are all brothers and sisters and children of God. o Gentle hugs to you, sweet friend. Barb

    1. Thank you, friend. How wonderful to have a way to “get your horse fix”! And I am glad to know that I am not alone on the struggle bus lately:) Here’s to a productive weekend ahead!!

  6. OH, I am so very sorry to hear about the horrible tragic death of that dear missionary. May God be with his family and comfort and keep them. The only real comfort is in knowing that he is in the presence of Jesus right now, where no enemies may ever hurt him again. Praying God will provide for the family in miraculous ways. (((hugs))) and prayers for all.

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