Good Monday morning. Hello to a new week and a new month. Hello, August. Yes, I am beating around the bush. Today is August 1st. A bittersweet day. The day we affectionately refer to as Tyler’s Heaven birthday. If you are new around here, sixteen years ago (can it really be sixteen years), the Lord healed our youngest son Tyler by taking him home to Heaven. Not exactly how we expected our prayers to be answered by certainly God’s perfect plan.
I have always struggled with this day. What is the “proper” or appropriate way to remember it? A Heaven birthday – sounds like it should be celebrated – and, indeed, I am beyond comforted to know with certainty my son is Heaven but do I celebrate? I cannot simply “do nothing” nor do I want to mope or mourn all day. I know I’m not the first to work through this challenge and it seems the correct answer is a bit different from year to year. But, I suppose that is okay. Grief is a complex (if not a funny) thing.
Forgive me if my thoughts and words are a bit scattered….and a bit all over the place. I really wanted to leave an encouragement today. A post that might even help someone else dealing with similar feelings, but my thoughts are just not coming together. However, just yesterday the Lord gave me some peace as well as some powerful thoughts while reading a morning devotional. They are from Elizabeth Elliot – Lessons from Suffering. I will just close with a quote from her journal. The lessons learned through sixteen years of missing Tyler (of learning about grief) have been many. They are slow to digest but profoundly impactful when I begin to see them through God’s heart. Also, if you are interested and have not done so before, you can read more about Tyler (and his story) in the page link – Could It Be Any Worse? – above. Have a blessed day, friends!
Elizabeth said, “…this grief, this sorrow, this total loss that empties my hands and breaks my heart, I may, if I will, accept; and by accepting it, I find in my hands something to offer. And so I give it back to Him, who in mysterious exchange gives Himself to me.”