In the past, I enjoyed a link-up called Five Minute Friday. A new prompt was given each week and the idea was to free-write for five minutes. Just five minutes. No editing, pre-planning and no overthinking. For a few reasons I slowly stopped participating with this link-up and, of course, when I stopped posting on Fridays, well, I have not written a five-minute post in months. And, although I am not sure that I am going to begin posting on Fridays again, I may occassionally. And, occassionally, I would like to challenge myself with the idea of writing in a time-limit and without the overthinking. That is the true challenge for me:) The prompt for this week is SCENE. I think I will give it a go.
START – I have noticed something since I have been walking. Many (I might say most) people you meet and/or pass while walking go out of their way to avoid eye contact. There are those who nod acknowledgement that you didn’t run into them on the sidewalk. There are some who will greet you with a good morning. But most are purposely distracted. Or they pretend to be. Intentional or not, they have created a space, are in that zone and are focused on their agenda. And they notice very little outside their space. And that focus takes them through their day. I’ve heard life moves a different paces throughout our country but around here, folks “do life” in their zone and tetherd to their own agenda. I can be very guilty of it myself.
When I catch a glimpse of someone else’s life, what do I see? The mother struggling with a demanding toddler. The panhandler approaching my car at the stoplight. The grey-haired senior barely making across the parking lot. How often do I see this one scene of their lives and think I know so much? How often am I quick to judge, to make assesments and to list all the “if onlys” I could apply to their situtation. All from one scene. And not even a complete scene.
I thought of this recently when I was walking. My greeting was ignored and I was quickly avoided, but I shrugged it off and continued walking. It was a beautiful morning. Like most mornings, I have plenty of time to enjoy my walks. Mornings are my favorite and I was simply enjoying my happy time. But, let’s be honest, I no nothing about those other walkers. No idea what kind of night they had, how their morning has started or what is on their mind as the day begins. No idea. Nor do I know anything about those whom I will catch a glimpse of as I go throughout my day. Lord, help me not to be critical. Not be so quick to judge. Lord, help me to look past my own zone and around my own agenda in order to see people. To see others whose lives are so much more than one incredibly short scene.
STOP.
Thanks for reading friends. Here’s to a lovely weekend. It is supposed to be wet here but not nearly as bad as many have suffered with the tropical storm. I hope you will stop back by the blog on Monday.
Enjoyed reading this! I think that many eye avoiders are introverts who just plain don´t care for any interaction. They aren´t trying to be rude. I know because I was that eye avoider for a long time. Now when I walk, I do generally nod and/ or say hello. But greetings to strangers on the street do not come naturally to me. Judging others (unfortunately….) does and I really like what you said about it. I have prayed in the past to be less critical of others and your post reminded me that perhaps it is time to pray for that again for me :). Have a great weekend, friend!
Quite a powerful and thought provoking post, Jennisfer! It’s so true…I know for myself, I often am too quick to judge a person without trying to consider what might be the reaction, or lack there of, they gave me. Thank you for the reminder that we just never know what the other person is going through.
I won’t look to meet your eye
when in the street we pass,
for I am an Asian guy;
eye contact shows no class.
I am all about reserve,
for that’s what shows respect
that I feel that you deserve,
but as a friend you can expect
that I’ll be faithful and be true,
and will always have your back.
I will have no hugs for you,
but making up that lack
is when you come through friendship’s door
you’ll have a friend forevermore.
we so often need to do that don’t we? To remember we don’t know the stories of those around us so shouldn’t be too quick to judge them. FMF14
I really enjoyed this post, Jennifer. First off, as a writer, it’s so important to free write and just let your thoughts present themselves, without thinking too much about who will be reading. That’s harder than it seems, but the only way to truly be authentic.
But onto the topic…what a great observation. I always say that you just never know what everyone is going through. Everyone has a story. Your post sums that up perfectly.
I was recently in an elevator at the hospital and talk about avoidance! There were about 5 of us in there and no one was talking. I was so uncomfortable. Another awkward place is the public restroom. Years ago, the proper etiquette would always be to speak to someone in your immediate presence. Now days, everyone is in their own little world. It’s quite sad.
Great topic! Here in Florida, we have a great deal of panhandlers…grant it, I don’t know the situation(s)…but I do avoid eye contact. Thanks for sharing this. Have a beautiful weekend.
I love this. I need the reminder to be kind and generous and not be quick to conclusions about people when I don’t know their story. Visiting from FMF#12
Come to think of it…people today Are averting their eyes when I look at them thinking I’d give them a smile…interesting!
hugs
Donna
It’s a sad observation but I would think true in most places. I think people fear making eye contact from hearing or reading news events. I also think people are busy and just want to get where they are headed. But I agree with you that we need to not jump to conclusions as we have no idea what their lives entail. I wonder how different life would be if instead we said a quick prayer for those we pass (?).
I always make an effort to smile and say hello as I pass people on a walk. I always think that I may be the only person that person has contact with that day, so it is important that I make sure it is as welcoming as possible! It seems to me that people walking dogs are more likely to stop and have a friendly ‘hello’. But maybe that is just around where I live!
I used to participate in 5 minute Friday as well. I am not always consistent with my blogging. I tend to talk to strangers and understand what you are saying about sometimes getting a response and sometimes getting nothing. I never let it bother me.
I have determined not to let it bother me either. I just out there every morning saying hello to everyone – lol!! So glad you stopped by!
When I walk there is no one around but I do find when I am going in and out of grocery stores or other places some people do not smile back, that doesn’t stop me from spreading my sunshine!!
Indeed – keep spreading that sunshine!! Love it:)
First of all, the photo at the beginning of your post, so touching and poignant. Your writings always make for an enjoyable read and this truly made me think. For a long time, I have made it my mission to smile at people when I am out and about, not 100 percent do I do this as there are times I don’t feel that great, perhaps a little low on the mellow meter. But if someone doesn’t return the smile when I do, that’s okay, it won’t stop me. More often than not I get a smile and a hello back, but those who don’t I often wonder were they brought up that way? Have they had a hard life? There are also cultures out there, even our cultures within a culture in this country, who don’t smile willy-nilly. I’ll do my best to keep smiling, I’ll be that lady who has her head up in the clouds, lol, and yes, I overthink things at times. Thank you for such a thought provoking read my friend, and enjoy your evening.
I have to agree, Denise. If I smile first, more often than not, I get a smile, or even a hello, in return. It is worth the effort. I don’t want to insult other cultures but, for me, I am happy smiling and greeting those along my path. Glad you stopped by…and thanks for your comment.
Hi Jennifer, Thanks for stopping by my blog and taking the time to leave a comment so that I could pop over here and “meet” you.
Interesting observations you have made on your walks. We seem to have a mix of friendly people and those who barely acknowledge you. Also, several are talking on the phone. I live in a 55+ neighborhood so a lot of people are retired and have plenty of time to stop and chat.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Sometimes, I’m the one who doesn’t look up or try to avoid people. But most days, I’ll say hi and then keep on walking. Thanks for the reminder not to judge what I don’t know. I really enjoyed reading your post. Hope you have a great weekend.