Who am I? A wife for almost 40 years. A mom for over 36 years. A sister and a friend, of course. Each of these help describe me. But, even more, I have been a Christian since accepting Him as my Savior when I was 12 years old and, this truth defines each area of my life. I have enjoyed some mountain top experiences but have been through some very deep valleys as well. Valleys of incredible grief and even pits of depression. However, most of my days are ordinary, routine kind of days. But in every one of my days, God has been faithful. He has walked with me whatever the day. He strengthens, comforts, encourages and blesses me with life "most abundant."

A favorite life verse: The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10

Why do I write? Though not quite as private as my dad, I am definitely my father's daughter. I find it difficult to share. And to let others in. But I do love to write. I love to put words into sentences and sentences in paragraphs that help express my thoughts. I hope my words help me share my heart. Share the life that God has given me and all that He has done for me and through me. I write with the hope of giving Him at least a bit of the glory He is due.

A verse to guide my writing: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ. I Peter 1:7

Is There An Appropriate Time for Compromise?

Posted on By jennifer
Happy Friday, friends!  I decided to join the Five Minute Friday community and link-up…which I always enjoy..but, when I do, I am unable to schedule a post ahead of time but, instead, have to wait until I receive the prompt and write on Friday mornings.  This never was a problem before (whenever before was) but now that I am (sorta, kinda, somewhat) in the habit, or at least the routine, of planning posts and scheduling them, well now I feel off.  Off schedule and I feel rushed.  Of course, the idea is to only write for five minutes AND not to overedit, etc., but, honestly, this type of posting is not the most enjoyable.  However, I do enjoy the challenge and especially enjoy the community at this link-up.  So, let’s move ahead.  Today’s prompt is: COMPROMISE.
GO – Believe it or not, when we were raising our children (three decades ago!), we never had Friday Movie Night or Taco Tuesday.  It’s true.  Now, don’t get me wrong….we ate plenty of tacos and we watched many a movie together as a family.  We just did not know there were cute names and/or specific days for doing such activities.  We were a simple lot, I suppose.  Nevertheless, we had fun and our kids seem well adjusted.   But, I digress.  When I was considering today’s prompt, for some reason, I quickly thought of those early years.  With three little ones under the age of five, the need for compromise presented itself often.  If not daily.  The need to “settle differences with each side making concessions.”  At our house, it would be something like this: one chooses the movie, one chooses the snack and one (usually the littlest) gets to sit next to Mommy!:)  Just like that – movie night went smoothly and was enjoyed by all.
Compromise can be a good thing.  There are certainly times when compromise is necessary.  But, for the most part, I tend to think of compromise as a negative thing.  A bad word even.  How many times have I been admonished (by myself or thundering preachers) not to be a woman of compromise?  A comprising Christian.  And that is a good admonition.  Christ even rebuked the church in Thyatira for their willingness to compromise.  Biblical commands cannot be compromised.  Those areas and matters clearly addressed in God’s word are not open for negotiation or compromise.  Realizing how subtle the enemy can be and how “simple” (without much consequence) and appealing he makes compromise, I tend to bristle at even the idea.
STOP – I ran past my five minutes; however, there really is time and place for compromise.  It is easy to become inflexible, dogmatic, and even combative.  Not only in spiritual matters but in many other areas as well.  I don’t want to compromise Biblical values.  I don’t think I should compromise practices that come from those values.  But my preferences….and/or my personal opinions?  Compromise can be just as needful, helpful, and even healthy as it was when dealing with my three preschoolers.  (Might I be considered “childish” if I am unwilling to ever “make a concession”??  Hmmm.)  Just the tip of the iceberg on this topic, but it gave me good cause to stop and consider some of my own thoughts and reactions.  I do want to fall for the enemy’s subtle traps of compromise.  But neither do I want to be arrogant or self-righteous.  Perhaps it will give you something to consider as well.
I hope you have a beautiful weekend.  The leaves are really starting to turn here….I snapped the above photo this morning of the bush on our patio.  As well, we had the prettiest fog-covered morning today.  It was lovely!!  Happy lovely Friday…..stop by again on Monday!!

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Comments (12)

  1. Yes, I surely am dogmatic
    (for I have many dogs),
    but to compromise, pragmatic,
    doth bring the worst of fogs
    when it asks I lay aside
    my faith to please another,
    or that firm beliefs I hide
    from folks out there who’d druther
    be approved in all their sins,
    and, yes, be celebrated,
    and if my soft reply begins
    with “But…”, I perforce will be hated,
    so, dear world, please heed this caution:
    compromise for me’s no option.

  2. I had the some of the same thoughts on compromise, Jennifer. My first thought was compromise is a negative, but after looking at the definition and reflecting on motherhood, I realized compromise is learning how to agree and live in harmony. ~Lisa, FMF #2

  4. “Realizing how subtle the enemy can be and how “simple” (without much consequence) and appealing he makes compromise…” I think that’s why we so easily fall into his trap. Big compromises are easy to avoid, but it’s those little concessions to truth that trip me up. I do want to be a fan and participant of healthy compromises though, and preferably without the banter of a preschooler. Lol I still have plenty of room for growth. Stopping by from FMF#4. Blessings!

  5. Hi Jennifer~ Compromise is something I had to really think about today. I think compromise can be a good think, especially when it comes to, say, serving someone else when you had other plans. Or, trying something that might make you stretch a little and get you out of your comfort zone (totally me). But like you said, there are things that I will not compromise and values that I will not compromise, like my faith. It’s so true about compromise when our children were small, I felt like my whole life was compromise…but it was a good thing, those days flew by so quickly, and all is good today! I’m off to send you the recipe! Hugs, Barb

  6. Other than FMF, most of my posts are scheduled ahead of time. For me, it means one less thing on my plate before I head out the door for work. I sometimes tell myself that it’s okay to skip FMF “just this once”. BUT GOD…has other ideas and keeps showing me what I am supposed to write about. Yes, sometimes I don’t get it done until Saturday, but it does get done.

    FMF #6

    1. It does feel good to get it done:) Lately, I am struggling to keep up with comments, etc…but still determined to get it done! Thanks for stopping by, Barb!

  7. ‘It is easy to become inflexible, dogmatic, and even combative. Not only in spiritual matters but in many other areas as well.’
    so true, Jennifer. May we be known as people of grace and kindness and be able to let go of things that, in the light of eternity, will not matter one bit.

    1. That is my prayer….to be a woman of grace and kindness! Funny who it is just when I think I am making progress….all the buttons are pushed and I am reminded how far I’ve yet to go!

  8. It is an interesting word/ topic; one that I had never thought of before, really, in terms of whether or not compromise is negative or positive. I think it can definitely be both as your examples highlight. I read your post after I listened to a podcast where one of the topics was assisted suicide. In the early days of assisted suicide, proponents of it said it was to help the terminally ill die with dignity. Those against legal assisted suicide warned of a slippery slope as one reason to not allow it. Now in Canada, it is legal in the taxpayer supported “healthcare” system for doctors to euthanize Canadians who struggle with depression and wish to die. (Rather an extreme treatment one could argue.) I thought of “compromise” (among others) when I heard this. You could argue that allowing assisted suicide for the terminally ill was a compromise between those wishing to stave off the extreme pain of a terminal illness and the interest the state has to preserve life. Once the decision to legally allow assisted suicide was made, the gates were opened and the slippery slope that was warned of occurred. This is an example of me where compromise has had a very negative outcome.

    1. I am truly at a loss for words with regard to legal assisted suicide….and for depression??! Thanks for some really powerful thoughts to consider. And to pray about!!

  9. I like the way you have grappled with this topic. I think dealing with children especially, but others in general, requires the flexibility to compromise on those preferences and opinions which are from ‘self’. I find children have a very strong sense of ‘being fair’ though and often they forbid compromise! 😀

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