Time to look back at February. This shortest month of the year has been “long” for me. I think the flu is to blame. The month started off with our being able to visit with our family from Florida. They were traveling for a school field trip and we met up with them. It has been over five years since our last visit, so it was especially nice to be together again. I started feeling “less than my best” while I was away. Then the flu officially “hit” when I got home.
A new Bible study started at church. I said “yes” to an opportunity where I would normally say “no” – trying to stretch myself! – and I also saw God open a wonderful door for me. I hope to share more about that later. And, in the meantime, I got rid of the flu…..only to have it return. Twice. Goodness.
I am looking forward to a fresh month – and, hopefully, spring. I was downtown (that’s DC around here) today – and the forsythia is already blooming! Nothing speaks spring – and joy! – to my heart like the first yellow blooms of the season. The predictable routine of nature is a smile to my soul and a perfect picture of God’s faithfulness.
One lesson learned this month. A week or so ago, the FMF prompt was “Why.” I was not able to post that Friday (um…the flu??!) but I pondered that thought and prayed over it several times. For most of my life, I never asked God, “why?” About anything. I always thought it was arrogant and, in some way, even offensive to an always sovereign God. I’ve been told as much, as well, along the way. Who am I to question God?
And, while I would never suggest shaking a fist and demanding God explain Himself to me…I do not believe my Heavenly father is offended when my feeble heart just cannot make sense of things. When my heart is crushed and broken. When my dream is shattered. When circumstances appear senseless, useless or all hope seems to be lost. When I humble myself before Him and wonder “why?”….He is a loving Heavenly father that knows my heart and longs to comfort, help and heal.
Any parent of a toddler knows “the game” of why! A question is asked, the answer is given, only to responded to with why? And the whys continue – until the adult finally says something similar to “just because.” No need for further explanation. And the child confidently accepts whatever great mystery of moment – simply because they trust. In the same way, God may reveal some of the answers. Other times, He gently answers with a “just because” but I can trust Him with confidence just as my toddler did. That truth brought me comfort this month. I am not a weak person or a faithless Christian when I feel overwhelmed. I am human. And my Heavenly Father knows me. Knows my heart. He patiently loves me and I can trust Him.